Faith

I think faith is a weird thing. So illusive, it has so many meaning to people, but essentially means the same thing. Also, EVERYONE has faith, although some would never admit it, you have faith in SOMETHING.

Sometimes I feel like my faith is so engrained in my life I forget that it is what is driving me, helping me make decisions, the reason why I do things it has truly shaped me as a person. Without my faith I really don’t know what I would do, what would be the reason for things, and what would I think when I see snow or rain or sunsets, mountains, ice cream, or anything. Without even thinking about it throughout the day I talk to God in my head. Sometimes more serious conversations sometimes just AHHHH I got a great parking space “Thanks God!”.

I always feel like I am not a very “Christiany” person. You won’t find me out talking to everyone about God, unless someone asks me something. You won’t find me always doing devotions, reading the Bible, listening to Christian music, or “praying” in the traditional sense of the word. I would love to incorporate more of those things into my everyday life, but if I am honest those are not things that I would be known for. However, I think people all have their own walks with God and faith. I don’t think I am one of those people who checks the boxes like: did I pray today “CHECK”, did I do my daily devotions “CHECK”…Ok I’m good. I think I am more constantly living with God – why do I need a specific time to pray when I am talking to God throughout the day. I do agree, however, I need to spend more concentrated time with God – that’s something I am working on. To me though sometimes the people who check the boxes don’t appear to be living with God, it seems when they are not in a “check the box” moment everything they say they stand for goes out the window.

I guess I need to re-define my “Christiany” definition. I think faith and religion and especially relationships with God are awesome because everyone has their own. Just like marriages or friendships, I wouldn’t want some other people’s marriage, I don’t understand it, but it works for them and I am sure they wouldn’t want mine. And I always try to remember that just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. (one of my favorite quotes is “Not Wrong, Just Different”) I think that is awesome that God made us to have different relationships and that he can have an intimate one with all of us, in all our different types of relationships. No one else could ever do that. Amazing.

Just something I have been thinking about lately.

Registering...

When we registered for our wedding it was so fun! Picking out things we liked, colors we liked, styles we liked, and all that mattered was that we liked them. Not so for baby registry, we had to think about safety and practicality, and trying to figure out what you need when you have no idea what the baby will be like is a bit daunting.

Will the baby like sleeping flat or will they like to be surrounded by something - this matters for what pack N play you will get.

Will they like this swing, this bouncy thing, this excersaucer, or this play mat...I have no idea. I started picking things out based on looks alone, but then I didn't like the looks of anything and figured there must be a more responsible way to do this.

Jared was very good, he read the reviews, specs, and everything while carrying everything as I continually had hot flashes and he let me take a break "trying out" all the gliders for a while. The big stuff was one thing, but then we came to the wall of small things that you need...you know bottles, pacifiers, bowls, lotions, thermometers, all that stuff. I just started picking things I know my sister has or were specifically recommended to me by friends. Jared and I decided we missed 50% of the things that we will need ... but we figure we had a good start.

That was yesterday and today we built the crib so that was exciting. Now Jared and I feel like we are on baby overload, but decided better a couple days and then take a break then waiting till the end to do all this and being in baby overload all the time! Anyways, it has been a fun process so far.

We feel really blessed to be in our small group at church as 4 of the 5 couples are expecting next spring/summer! It's nice to have that support and people to talk about it with who are in the same boat. Also, they all already have kids so Jared and I have great resources to ask all of our questions. There were a few emergency calls from the aisles of Babies R Us yesterday to a couple of them - and they were very helpful!

Well I am off to try to do a little more organizing, we are so busy I am trying to take advantage of the weekends we don't have anything going!

Here is my favorite thing we registered for...I might steal it...Duke is already making plans as well!

Fears

I am coming to realize that I have a severe fear of traffic lights falling on me. When they are blowing in the wind...they look scary! They are Huge and heavy and flying all over the place attached only by some small little pole or something...why wouldn't they fall! I find myself starring at them before I go under and I envisioning them falling right on my car. It's not a fun picture. That would be an awful way to go, death by falling street light! UGH. I think this fear is getting more and more irrational, but I can't stop thinking about it when I am driving. I am also afraid of birds pooping on my head - this has happened to me twice before so not so irrational - now I run and dodge for cover when the squawking beasts fly over me.

My other severe fear, which is better now that I am not living in Seattle and driving on the 520 Bridge everyday, is a bridge collapsing and me being in my car going down in the water... I have asked Jared for one of those seat-belt cutting, window smashing things for like 3 years...again more relevant when I was in Seattle. I used to drive over the 520 Bridge with my hand on the window things so that as soon as I felt/saw the bridge breaking I could start rolling down the windows, before the power windows stopped working and I was screwed. I would always think how would I get out, how would I get Duke out, I would seriously get all hot and bothered thinking about it. Especially if I had Duke with me I would get super anxious sometime and minorly freak out. A lot of times with Duke I would roll down the windows, no matter what the weather just to make sure we could both get out. WHEW, I am having anxiety just thinking about this again!

See it happens!

Shout Out to My Hubby

I have to say that I have always liked to watch the man during events where the woman is the "main attraction". At weddings I like to watch the groom as the bride walks down the aisle - Everyone turns to look at the beautiful bride, but I keep my eyes on the groom - it's a, dare I say, even more beautiful sight to me. I have always liked to watch husbands as their wives are pregnant and talking about it to everyone, since everyone only asks the woman about it.

For some reason people think that it's all about the woman...while I am the one carrying the child, Jared is carrying our family. Just because his body isn't changing and growing a human, his world is changing too...a lot. And I would think the hardest part is that he can't relate to how I am feeling, or anything. To him I look the same...nothing REALLY is changing but I have become useless. I have spent a good part of the last 2 months laying on our couch. Often I ask Jared to get me some food, or a drink, or to move the laundry, and he happily does every time. Running to the store at a moments notice to get whatever I feel like eating. Making me yummy home cooked meals only to have me say "that looks/smells disgusting I can't eat that" to his efforts. I can't clean dishes because it makes me feel sick, I really have been useless. Jared has cleaned our house inside and out, done the grocery shopping, cooking (which i never did anyway), getting Duke his exercise, and just all the other little things. I really appreciate him and all the hubby's out there whose lives are changing, who are asked to suddenly do so much more and never complain. Add that on to working all day - while I am home sleeping - I would think he could get a little annoyed with me, but he doesn't. At least not to my face.

I am eternally grateful for Jared and how loving he is and how hard he works for our family. I am truly a lucky girl. I hope that people appreciate what he and all future dad's are going through and the things he is dealing with as well. It's not all about me, thank goodness. We are a team, and a pretty good one at that. Right now Jared is carrying our team! Hopefully I will be back in action soon and can help with some of the work he has taken upon himself.

Baby Update

Jared and I went in for another appointment this week to check up on our little addition. Everything is looking great, baby for sure has 2 arms, 2 legs, and at least one hand has 5 fingers so we're good! :0)

The babe did a lot of jumping around for us, and it looked like he/she had some pretty good dance moves so he/she is taking after us already. Also, there is a nice shot of the leg - looks like a soccer player to me :0)

Hearing other people talk about the first time they saw their baby on the screen or heard the heartbeat it seems that all the future mom's get emotional about it and things. This is how I know I am not like the majority cause honestly, it was just what I was planning on seeing and I spent a good portion of the time thinking about the great dance moves the babe was doing and how much I felt like it resembled a monkey...not usually the typical response I'm guessing, but hey oh well. I asked Jared if it bothered him that I wasn't all emotional about things, and of course he said no...what else was he gonna say. Oh well, that's just me I guess.

Enjoy the pics of the dancing monkey:

Something FUN!

So Jared and I did do something fun recently! It was totally Jared - he found the idea, he talked me into it, and he made it happen....and it was AWESOME!

Jared heard about this group Straight No Chaser coming to the Devos Hall - let me say that Jared and I would love to go to just about anything at Devos Hall, it's one of the things we really like to do. Straight No Chaser is an accapella (I don't know how to spell that and spell check keeps trying to change it to "spatula" so oh well) group and they are AMAZING. They are great singers, they are funny, and people from all age groups were there having a great time! We also got to sit in those seats along the side on the 2nd level, where you sit one person in front of the other. At first I didn't know if I would like it cause I wasn't sitting next to Jared, but they were great! There was TONS of leg room and you could still talk if you needed too, but most of the time we were so excited about the music I didn't want to talk. I just shot a HUGE smile back to Jared every once in a while.

Here is a little story about how they got started and the video that started it all. If they are coming to an area near you I HIGHLY recommend going to see them! Enjoy...

Basically the guys started the group at Indiana University in 1996 to "pick up girls" they had a great time but eventually all started to graduate and went on to get real jobs. In 2006 they were going to have a reunion so one of the guys posted some of their old videos on YouTube so they could laugh at each other and reminisce about the old days. Well one of their videos got over 7 million hits! They were quickly signed to a record label and have been doing this ever since! CRAZY!! Ok here is the video that got all the hits and started their career...

Oh here is their website too: http://www.sncmusic.com/

Un-Fun

So my biggest side-effect and most disturbing one of being pregnant is feeling EXTREMELY UN-FUN! Ugh, this is like a life disappointment. I have been exhausted and so every time I am not doing something I HAVE to do, I am on our couch relaxing or napping. I never see mu friends, I am not planning anything, I'm not finding any fun things to do around Grand Rapids. I feel my zest for life has left me, and my zest for sleeping is full throttle. Even when I talk to people I am totally un-enthused. I know I am talking pretty mono-tone, no expression, no hand motions (which I am known for) just boring talking...oh and I am not offering any extra information either. I was talking to one of my friends who is also preggo right now (after I had a dream that I was crying and telling her I was sorry I wasn't fun anymore and begging her to still be my friend...) anyways, she said that she isn't very fun right now either, but we are on the edge of turning the corner out of the first trimester and she assured me I will get my fun back! I am clinging to this like a squirrel to it's prize acorn!

I find this depicts my journey with fun all too well. At first I had a bunch, everything was great, then I lost it all, then I was just watching it all around me, unable to get it, then I got some back but whenever I would have fun it would knock me out totally leaving me laying on my back sleeping on the couch while all the fun drifted away...and here I am with no fun :(