OK so I am not one of those people who RUSH to see something...unless it's a hippo, flash mob, or dog. When people are sick, or just get home, or HAVE A BABY, or anything like that where many people try to go see the person ASAP, I usually just hang back. I like to wait till the commotion is done and then casually go. I think that this is partly because I don't like being rushed with people, partly because I don't like crowds, and mostly because I don't want to overwhelm people.
In these situations I never know if people like having company, if they wish people would leave them alone, but they don't want to be rude, or what. I know that when I am sick, just get home, or when I have a baby I am thinking I am going to be tired and just want my space.
I think that my actions in those moments can come off that I don't care, that I'm not as in to it as other people, but really I am just trying not to overwhelm people cause I think that's what I would want.
I LOVE being helpful and doing whatever people want me to do. If someone wants me to go get something from the store... NO PROBLEM. If you want me to do your laundry to help out...NO PROBLEM. If you want me to sit with you and do nothing...NO PROBLEM. If you want me to stay away...NO PROBLEM. My only problem is when there is no direction. I am not good like that - I think people respond do situations in different ways so I just never know what to do.
I know like 5000 people having kids right now and I seriously don't know what to do. So if you are having a kid please tell me what you would like me to do and don't take me not beating down your door at the hospital as a sign of not caring...I CARE! :0)
Practicing what I preach Jared and I made a few guidelines for when Tenley is born:
1. we are only having family come to the hospital and only for short visits - and you will not be bursting down the door as soon as she's out..it'll probably be a little bit...sorry. I know everyone is excited to meet her, but I feel I want to spend as much of her first little while with just me and Jared...plus as I said, people overwhlem me sometimes and I feel I will want space, sleep, and to just be with Jared & Tenley in that time.
2. The first few days we are home - we probably won't take many visitors either. Jared only gets a few days off work and we just want some time to settle in and be at home with Tenley and Duke.
3. So we are making everyone be like we are ... no rushing in. :0)
4. We also figure it's easier to say "no one come for a while" and then change our mind and say COME ON OVER! then to say COME ON OVER and then change our mind and say "Stay away".
5. So when Tenley is born and we are ready for visitors I will post something on here and FB so that people know. PLEASE don't think that this doesn't mean you can't call or text me... I'll answer if/when I can, and I am sure will love it!
I have found that protecting my space and time is very important to me. I love to be around people and i love my friends & family- so CLEARLY I want to see all of you and show off the new addition...but having never done this before I want to make sure Jared and I get to hang out with her as much as we can before "real life" comes back: aka Jared is back to work every day.
I hope you all understand. If anyone would like to pass their rules/guidelines on to me that would be great! I LOVE THEM, hence why we make them. If you love cookies - you make cookies. I like to know what to expect and what people want ... so I am telling you what we are doing.
LOVE YOU ALL...Still trying to figure out what I am supposed to do for other preggo people - I can't make you a meal - you wouldn't want it.....
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