JUST ASK!

Here is my biggest “I don’t get it” of my life. When in life does it become wrong to ask for help, or ask for a drink when you are at someone’s house?

I hear people everyday who are struggling with something, but they never ask for help. What are family and friends for if not to help you when you need it. Give your friends and family a little credit and know that they are big enough to make their own decisions…I love helping my friends and family when I can – it gives me great joy…I assume that my friends and family feel the same. If I need help moving, I ask, if I need someone to open the door for me, I ask, if I need someone to go out to ice cream with me because I am in a poopy mood (yes I am an emotional eater) I ASK! Biggest pet peeve of mine is thinking or knowing that someone is struggling and they aren’t asking for help. This leads me to my attitude of – if you are too proud to ask for help, I’m not offering it. Sorry, but that is how I feel. I have watched numerous amounts of people struggle and I am standing right there…or I am in my house down the street while they are stressed out…Why aren’t they asking me to help? Either 1 – they have it under control despite how it looks, 2 – they don’t like/trust me, 3 – they are too proud. Now I have heard the argument – If you see someone struggling why don’t you just help them – and this is what I say to that…if it is a stranger or someone who I don’t have a relationship with I do! But if I know you: A – if you need help why aren’t you asking, maybe I think you need help but in fact things are going as you wanted because I am RIGHT THERE why wouldn’t you be asking for help if you needed it, B – are you secretly getting mad or annoyed at me for NOT helping even though you never asked?, C – are you scared of imposing on me, my time and energy…LET ME DECIDE THAT. I am a big girl and so are most other people in the world. If I don’t want to help I will say no. If I say yes, then that’s on me…if secretly inside I don’t want to…that’s my bad for saying yes so I better buck up and do it – you don’ t feel bad about that. And you aren’t going to pressure me into anything…trust me I will say NO if I don’t want to do it.

WHEW, that felt good.

2^nd annoyance – Why is it “rude” to ask for a drink or food at someones house? I don’t know about you, but when I have friends over I expect them to possibly be hungry or thirsty. One of the first things that Jared and I tell people when they come over is “Make yourself at home, we aren’t good about asking if you want things to eat or drink so the glasses are in there, fridge is there, snacks are over there.” Think about it, have you ever been offended or hurt by someone asking for a drink when they are at your house? Yet, I know people who have been thirsty for hours, and FINALLY I will ask them if they need something and they will guzzle it down in like 3 seconds…why? I do not understand this thinking at all.

Both of these annoyances hinder on one of my main life principles of communication and expectations. Don’t place expectations on other people – A) you are making it so that person can only let you down, B) You most likely are NOT communicating your expectations – so you end up getting mad, frustrated, or annoyed with other people and they don’t even know what the heck just happened. C) Control what you can control, get some courage say what you want to say or don’t be mad at other people for not reading your mind!

Thank you. That concludes tonight’s rant! JUST ASK PEOPLE!!!!